The clever repartee has disappeared, so have the signs of affection. And when you pass each other at home, a sour look on the face of your spouse greets you, having long replaced the welcoming smile you were accustomed to seeing.
You now are in separate rooms, and intimacy has been replaced by subtle animosity. The patterns are unmistakable, and you recognize them in your marriage that now includes breakdowns in trust and communication along with increased criticism. You know your marriage is in trouble, and that signs of divorce loom.
Criticism, lack of intimacy, addiction
Emptiness and lovelessness have replaced togetherness and love. Every marriage is different, and every marriage may show different signs pointing toward divorce. Here are some common ones:
- Stonewalling, avoidance and refusing to talk.
- Expressing a blatant lack of respect and general dislike when talking with the other spouse.
- Constant criticism. Certain behaviors such as support and encouragement uplift people. Harping and mocking only lead to downward spiraling.
- Stashing away money in individual bank and retirement accounts.
- No longer willing to discuss long-term plans. This can include future family trips, paying for home repairs and children’s college costs to retirement arrangements.
- Turning to online relationships for escape. Many people rely on the internet in an attempt to fulfill emotional needs and overcome emptiness.
- The lack or non-existence of physical intimacy. When one or both partners no longer want to have sex, this can be a terrible blow. Separate rooms, sometimes, lead to separate lives.
- The presence of an addiction. This can include substance abuse related to alcoholism and drugs or behavioral addictions such as gambling, compulsiveness, spending, pornography and video games.
These all represent signs that your relationship likely has run its course. Now, that you have come to terms with what will happen, you must protect yourself and prepare for those fateful next steps.