Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLCHawthorne & Vesper, PLLC2026-02-10T11:26:43Zhttps://www.hawthornevesper.com/feed/atom/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/sites/1103118/2019/09/cropped-og-new-32x32.jpgOn Behalf of Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[3 reasons divorcing couples in New York try mediation]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=496012022-12-29T18:56:37Z2022-12-29T18:56:37Z
Mediation is a private process
If you go to family court and accuse your spouse of infidelity, everything you say about their behavior and every excuse they make to blame you for their actions will end up as part of the public record.
Anyone could potentially attend your hearings and hear what the two of you have to say about one another. Years later, those records will still exist as court transcripts, meaning your adult children could even potentially obtain them.
New Jersey law makes mediation confidential in almost all cases, meaning that you can talk about spousal misconduct and other private matters without making those details publicly available.
Mediation speeds up divorce
Litigation can take a long time to complete. There are currently more families demanding access to the family courts than judges available to provide services. You will find yourself waiting for many months to have a hearing in front of a judge and a long time after a hearing for the final ruling in many cases.
When you work out your disagreements in divorce mediation, you will be able to speed up the process by eliminating the need to wait for hearings. You will also know the outcome of the divorce long before the judge ever finalizes your paperwork.
You can repair your relationship
Mediation requires cooperation between former spouses. You will need to be able to sympathize with your spouse to negotiate with them effectively. You will also need to change out the aggressive communication pattern you have recently employed for one that focuses on cooperation and resolution, rather than emotional venting and blame. This benefit is particularly useful for those who will continue to parent with one another.
Couples that attempt divorce mediation frequently end their marriages more quickly and with less conflict than those who pursue a more traditional, litigated process. Considering all of your options for filing an uncontested divorce will help you make use of the right tools for your situation.]]>On Behalf of Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[2 house-related issues that can complicate your divorce]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=495992022-10-04T19:59:36Z2022-10-04T19:59:36Z If you understand the two biggest disagreements that arise related to real estate in divorces, you can potentially avoid those challenges or keep them from unnecessarily complicating your divorce.
Both spouses want to retain possession
Maybe your home is perfectly situated with a view of a park, or perhaps you and your ex both want your children to stay at the same schools when you divorce. The parent who keeps the home might end up having more parenting time, so both of you insist on keeping the house.
Couples often disagree very strongly about who will retain possession or the right to physically stay in the home after the divorce. While you can typically expect the courts to uphold your right to some of the home's value, there is never a guarantee that you can remain living there. Unless you and your spouse negotiate your own arrangements, a judge will eventually decide which one of you gets to stay in your marital home.
You may disagree on the home's value
It is easy to see how the spouse hoping to stay at the marital home and the spouse wanting reimbursement for their share of equity would have very different desires when it comes to valuing the marital home. It is common for couples in New York to misunderstand what their property is truly worth. You may require an appraisal to settle the matter.
In fact, some couples even disagree after one appraisal and will require a second appraisal. Both changes in the market and concerns about the neutrality of the appraiser hired could lead to the need for a second appraisal before you agree on the fair market value of your home.
Proactively identifying and contemplating disputes that will likely arrive during your property division proceedings will help you plan for a smoother and less contentious New York divorce.]]>On Behalf of Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[What can you do if you can’t afford child support?]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=492592022-07-06T22:23:15Z2022-07-06T22:23:15ZWhen should you seek a modification of child support?
Your child deserves to be supported by both parents, but if you don’t have money to send, then it may be impossible for you to do so. Instead of skipping payments or trying to work something out with the other parent outside of court, now is a good time to ask for a modification in court.
It’s normal to ask for a child support modification if you have lost your job or if your job has cut down your hours significantly. Showing a judge that your income has dropped by a significant amount through the use of your paystubs, for example, will help them recalculate what you should pay each month.
You may be able to work out other ways to reduce the impact of that lost income, too. Maybe you can watch your child an extra day or two a week to cut down on the cost of daycare, or perhaps you can take a few more hours with your child to give the other parent more time to work and make up the difference while you look for work yourself.
People’s lives change, and money does fluctuate. If your income has changed dramatically, it’s worth discussing the possibility of a child support modification, so you can retain what you need to support yourself and still keep up with the obligation of paying support for your child.]]>On Behalf of Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[Divorce and your dog: What happens?]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=492582022-04-07T19:25:09Z2022-04-07T19:25:09Zdepend on stability in their lives.
But the other reason to ask this question is simply that they don't know if they're supposed to look at their pet as property or as a member of their family.
Technically, yes, they went to the shelter or the breeder and they bought the dog for a specified amount of money. This suggests that the dog is property and will be subjected to normal division rules along with everything else. But the relationships that you and your ex have with the dog suggest that it is more akin to a family member, and neither of you may feel like giving up ownership. So what happens?
Setting up a plan
The first option you have is to set up a plan to share the pet with your ex. You could agree to switch ownership back and forth every other week, for instance. If you thought that would be too chaotic for the pet, you could also just set up times for your ex to come over and see them or take them out for the day.
But the key thing to remember here is that you and your ex have to do this on your own and agree to it. The court is not going to help you.
Dividing ownership
If this does end up before the court, they will make a ruling. But they're going to use property division laws, not custody laws, as the basis for this decision. As noted above, you did purchase the dog and this does qualify it as a piece of property that you own. That's the perspective the court is going to take, so you need to know that one or the other of you will be awarded the dog if you go this route.
Considering your options
Something like this can be stressful and a bit confusing, so it's very important that you take the time to really consider all of the options that you have. There are solutions to any issues divorce brings up as long as you know what steps to take.
]]>On Behalf of Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[What will equitable distribution mean for your shared debts?]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=492572022-01-04T20:36:03Z2022-01-04T20:36:03Zequitable distribution statute. This requires that they look at your personal circumstances and the records from your marriage to arrive at a fair and reasonable solution for splitting your property. They will also have to divide your debts as part of this process.
What does equitable distribution mean when it comes to your debts?
When and why you took on a debt matters the most
When a New York family law judge looks over your financial circumstances to split your property and your debts, they aren't going to base their decision on whose name is on the credit card or who signed for the transaction. Instead, they will look more closely at when someone opened the account, when they accrued the specific debt and why they accrued that debt.
Usually, debts from during the marriage and for the intention of supporting the household are marital debts that a couple will need to share. If one spouse uses a joint credit card to pay for a hotel room while conducting an affair, they may be solely responsible for that debt. However, if one spouse takes out student loans while married with the intention of getting a better job to support the family, both spouses may have to share the debt for their education.
You will likely have to come to an agreement about how to handle your joint accounts outside of court if you need to preserve certain assets or lines of credit for future use. You may also have to share responsibility for the balances on accounts held individually by either spouse.
Debts and assets may balance each other out
Judges may allocate certain accounts to each spouse or may use the debts to justify other asset division decisions. You usually can't predict exactly what a judge will do with specific debt, but you can at least determine whether they are likely marital or separate debts.
Carefully reviewing your financial record can help you prepare for property division in a New York divorce.]]>On Behalf of Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[A few ways an estranged spouse hides assets]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=492092021-10-08T18:40:00Z2021-10-08T18:40:00Ztrack down these assets? Think like your estranged spouse, do some research and find a reliable ally.
Shifting money to children’s accounts
Whether it is family, friends or even work supervisors, this group, sometimes, plays a role in hidden assets. Here are some of the ways to hide those assets:
Conspiring with relatives and friends. It turns out that your friends were really your spouse’s friends, and they may do just about anything for him. That includes stashing assets such as investment certificates, savings bonds and cash in their homes. They even may accept payments for non-existent debts from your spouse.
The transfer of assets into accounts of shell companies or in accounts in the names of family and friends.
Shifting money in the custodial accounts of your minor children.
With the cooperation of an employer, a person may seek to delay work-related raises and bonuses until the divorce process has concluded. Such a behind-the-scenes tactic is truly unscrupulous.
The surreptitious method of dissipating assets. Spending down your marital assets is something often done out of spite and may stem from an extra-marital affair. Methods may include the purchasing of gifts, travel expenses, apartment rental and even educational expenses.
Granted, these examples remain some of the ways that a spouse may attempt to hide assets from another. It is too bad that your marriage has come to this, though, and the secrets continue. Now, you must uncover some of those secrets.]]>On Behalf of Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[What if my spouse does not want the divorce?]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=491882021-07-07T16:20:44Z2021-07-07T16:20:44ZContested vs uncontested divorce
Most divorce cases are uncontested, meaning both parties agree on the divorce and all related financial and parenting issues. On the other hand, a contested divorce happens when both spouses cannot agree on the divorce or its legal grounds. In an uncontested divorce, the judge will be the one to determine the terms of the divorce.
How contested divorce works
Even if your spouse is not willing to get divorced, you can start the procedures on your own. To do this, you need to file a divorce action with a summons of notice. After, you need to file a Request for Judicial Intervention within 45 days or 120 days if both parties file a Notice of No Necessity. After the judge receives your request, they will ask you and your spouse to file a Net Worth Statement before they schedule a preliminary conference. Following the preliminary conference, both of you may have to attend a compliance conference and then the divorce trial after the court completes Discovery.
Contested divorce involves numerous visits to the Supreme Court, which is why it is considered more complex and expensive than an uncontested divorce. The court schedules the divorce trial no later than six months after the preliminary conference, so the entire contested divorce can last around 7 months, but every case is different.
Mediation
The complexity of a contested divorce is the reason why it is more expensive and time-consuming than an uncontested divorce. Filing for divorce is already difficult, so you may consider other options before getting into the complicated process of a contested divorce. An experienced divorce mediator can help you and your spouse work through their divorce issues and reach a mutually agreeable settlement. That way, you can file for divorce in a faster and more efficient way.]]>by Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[8 signs that divorce looms in your relationship]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=491872021-07-27T09:34:25Z2021-04-13T21:45:22ZCriticism, lack of intimacy, addiction
Emptiness and lovelessness have replaced togetherness and love. Every marriage is different, and every marriage may show different signs pointing toward divorce. Here are some common ones:
Stonewalling, avoidance and refusing to talk.
Expressing a blatant lack of respect and general dislike when talking with the other spouse.
Constant criticism. Certain behaviors such as support and encouragement uplift people. Harping and mocking only lead to downward spiraling.
Stashing away money in individual bank and retirement accounts.
No longer willing to discuss long-term plans. This can include future family trips, paying for home repairs and children’s college costs to retirement arrangements.
Turning to online relationships for escape. Many people rely on the internet in an attempt to fulfill emotional needs and overcome emptiness.
The lack or non-existence of physical intimacy. When one or both partners no longer want to have sex, this can be a terrible blow. Separate rooms, sometimes, lead to separate lives.
The presence of an addiction. This can include substance abuse related to alcoholism and drugs or behavioral addictions such as gambling, compulsiveness, spending, pornography and video games.
These all represent signs that your relationship likely has run its course. Now, that you have come to terms with what will happen, you must protect yourself and prepare for those fateful next steps.]]>On Behalf of Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[Dividing some assets can be challenging in divorce]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=491832021-01-14T21:50:22Z2021-01-14T21:50:22Zthe overall financial negotiation. There are certain assets, however, that might have a more nebulous value or are more challenging to achieve an equitable split, including:
Family business
Business assets
Pension plans
Retirement plans
Deferred compensation
Stock options
Country club memberships
Artwork
Antiques
Additionally, a divorcing couple will likely have to thoroughly examine their digital assets to reach an equitable split. Digital assets can include:
Social media accounts
Hosted picture collections
Entertainment collections including books, movies, music and video games
Travel perks
Cash back bonuses
Online storefronts
More couples find themselves living an increasingly digital life. From crafting a blog to building thousands of dollars in consumer rewards, it can difficult to part with these digital assets when divorce becomes a reality.
Part of the challenge lies in identifying marital and non-marital assets. For example, an asset that was brought into the marriage might have started as a separate asset, but when used and grown by both partners, the argument can be made that the asset is now a marital asset. For these confusing questions, it is wise to work with an experienced family law attorney who can provide the answers and guidance you need.]]>On Behalf of Hawthorne & Vesper, PLLC<![CDATA[The challenges of a high-asset divorce]]>https://www.hawthornevesper.com/?p=491792021-07-27T09:37:34Z2021-01-07T15:29:57ZNew York’s equitable distribution laws.
Complications for the rich
For more wealthy families, there are not only additional assets in terms of wealth, but they are sometimes more abstract in value and thus more difficult to apportion. Such assets might include:
Retirement/pension funds
Foreign bank accounts or real estate
Stock portfolios and other investments
Family-owned businesses or professional practices
High-value collectibles (including art, antiques, vintage vehicles, and movie memorabilia)
Domestic real estate (in particular, second homes or vacation properties)
Yachts or private planes
If these assets are present, an independent valuation will be necessary.
What if there’s a prenuptial agreement?
If the couples signed a prenup before marriage, then property division can be less complicated. When a premarital agreement is present, then there are usually terms related to splitting assets and debts. Judges are apt to follow the terms of a prenup unless there’s demonstrable evidence of duress, a violation of public policy, or it includes otherwise unenforceable clauses.
Determining value
When high-value, abstract assets are involved, the parties – and their attorneys – may need to work with specialists in order to properly determine their worth. There are appraisers, for example, who are experts with a particular type of property, be it art, antiques, real estate, etc. These specialists can provide a market value for the assets, allowing for a more equitable division. Forensic accountants may also be needed to sift through tax records and bank statements to locate hidden assets.]]>